By prinasieku

At what cost?

We so easily get comfortable with the flaws created from survival mode, that we blindly start believing it’s acceptable to disregard all else.

I know I behave a certain way, and nothing else really matters because, you don’t know what I’ve been through, you have no idea what I had to do, to get to where I am.

I have laser vision on self and self alone because, because that is right. That is what we’re supposed to do. No one understands you, no one will ever fight for you in the magnitude you crave, other than yourself. So, it’s okay to disregard all else. Right? Right. It has a justice ring to it, so it got to be true. It just has to!

But at what cost? Yes, everything has a price. The inconveniencing truth that you may win the war, but what, who remains with you? Are you the only survivor? Most probably. Congratulations! You won. You crashed and burned all that was in your way, finally proved that you were right.

Celebrate your victory! Alone. You got everyone to see it your way, they see you now, oh you’re unmatched. Go on, match to the beat of your drum. No one is stopping you now. It’s all you, this is what you were fighting for right? To be the exception. Can you handle it? Are you ready to pay for it? Is it worth it? Go ahead love, your island awaits.

Ego Healing Health Image Inner child Mental health Mindset Personality Pride Self-awareness Self-love Trauma Wellness 0 Comments
By prinasieku

Flawed and all

Our brain quickly picks up on our habits, they quickly transform into character. Now it’s easy to adapt a flaw, even more weird cause it doesn’t require much time or energy to sustain it. Oh the unfairness of it all! Let me not digress.

Having experienced early segregation and rejection, chasing and validating my thoughts and actions became an addiction. Maybe it became part of me. A flaw in my character or then I would say, ‘it’s just who I am’.

I later learnt that there’s a thin line between justification and transgression. One is good, the other bad. But how do you even the scales? How do I ensure that when I identify my flaws, it doesn’t consume me?

Paraphrasing Jordan Petersons’ words; That in order for us to be good, we have to acknowledge our potential to be dangerous. I agree, for only when you fully know and understand what you’re capable of, your evil nature; its degree, your flaws; its limits, then you can truthfully say with confidence that you know yourself.

The process of working on yourself, learning who you are as a whole, healing, requires one to tame/control that scary, dangerous and flawed part of you. There’s no escaping it, therefore don’t wait for circumstances to force you to confront it. It is better to intentionally do it yourself. Remember, there’s no shame. We’re all flawed love, deal with it. Cause if you don’t, the likelihood of you burning it all, including yourself, is prime.

Ego Healing Health Image Mental health Mindset Personality Self-awareness Self-care Trauma Wellness 0 Comments
By prinasieku

Pride: war of the egos

Always on fight mode.Who are you fighting? Where are you going? What’s the price? Learn to let go. Not everything needs a fight. Sometimes, shutting up helps.

Well, I’ve always been a fighter. A stir that boils deep inside, takes over all senses, demands to be felt and only rests when it’s done. Know what I mean? Well, that’s me. For the most part of it, it was seen as a flaw.

My opinion? Well if speaking up, calling situations out and voicing for the voiceless is a flaw? Call me Chief Justice please and thank you. That statement right there gives me such thrill, excitement, even now. A righteousness that cannot be explained.

Early in my school years I used to thrive in debates. In a classroom, if we were told to defend a character or anything that needed defence? Oh I’d be right up there ready to wield my eager blade; my tongue, my shield; my brain.

Looking back it does seem like I always was itching for a fight. Expanded my horizons from school to now relationships, the system, name it? I’m there. Ready and willing to spar. The excitement of proving what most people see as black and white, that hey! Perhaps there’s more to which you all don’t see, but I do.

Always eager for my different point of view to be seen, heard, felt, acknowledged, praised.

You know the feeling you get when you access, believe that your way is the better way and your track record supports your theory?! Oh the joy, the fulfilment you get.

Careful now, because once the pattern becomes a norm, you start trusting it. I’ll tell you right now, run. Run love, fear with all your might. Because, once you start rejecting your human nature to be flawed? To not always have it right, chasing perfection? Well, in comes the good sweet high that can never be sustained. Commence; war of the egos. Pride.

Ego Healing Image Inner child Mental health Personality Self-awareness Trauma 0 Comments